Been a while

So much has happened. Mainly, I've lost 95lbs since May 2008. I'm stalled right now. Haven't lost in 3 going on 4 months. Just gaining and losing the same 5lbs. I have scar tissue where my J-tube use to be and it hurts every now and then. Nothing they can do about it, I have to learn to live with the occassional pain.

Hopefully I'll be at goal by February, but I'm not gonna bank on it. It might take 2 years to get down to 140lbs. But I'll get there !!!

OMG

Has it really been that long?? Well. I'm finally under 200lbs. Wonderful onederland. But I'm at a stall. I feel like I'll never lose the rest of this weight. I've got 48lbs to go til goal. I hope to make it by the end of the year.

I'm battling depression with a new med. Deplin. Seems to be working so far, lets hope it continues to sway the demons.

Still fighting the 'Carb' fight. I'll win eventually. Not much else to say, here's a photo of me at 198lbs.

Onederland

Well, i've reached 'onederland'. And have been fluxing 2 pounds up and two pounds down for about two weeks. My fault, too many carbs. I weighed in at 198 one day and now i'm back too 201. But that's down from 202, so i'm getting back down there as I watch my carbs and try yet again too up my protein intake.

Walking

I've added walking and more protein too my daily regime. It's working pretty well. I'm 10lbs away from onederland. I haven't weighed under 200lbs in 20 years or more. It will be quite an accomplishment when i finally get there.

February

Not skinny yet. LOL. But I'm getting there. I loose so slowly. Lucky if I make 7lbs in one month. But at least I am loosing. I'm exercising now, walking 5 days a week. TRYING to add some strength work too.

Me and carbs are at odds. Need to find a better way of reducing them, but I cope. I'm on Sparkpeople.com, a great site for tracking food and exercise. Very motivational. I've been there about a week now.

Depression had it's grip on me yesterday. But today I'm feeling better. I weigh 211 now. Will NOT reach 'onderland' by March, but hopefully by June. I wanna be at or near goal by the end of the year. 

With the walking and all, I should be able too do it. I like being outside. Need another pair of sweats, the one's I have are falling off of me. I wear an 18 now. : )

There are days I regret my DS. Think it's gonna be the end of me. That I can't keep up with the nutritional requirements etc. And it scares me. But I keep plugging away. It's a love hate relationship. Hopefully it will get better when I get smaller in size. I still call myself fat. hate the way I look. etc. but it's all a head game. And I realize this...

Been a while

Well, I now weigh 213. I should reach onederland by March. I feel good, but I need too up my iron and vitamin D and calcium. I'm working on all three.

Still trying too get into the Ymca to exercise, it's just gonna take some time.

I can tolerate fish, and cheese and some meats. But chicken and roasts and such are still hard on the innerds. in time i guess.

still gotta watch my carbs. It's hard when you're diet is still limited. No more vomiting in the a.m. Praise god for that.

I can fit into a size 18 swimsuit. : ) Legs are getting thinner and stomach is going down. I don't think I'll have a lot of hanging flesh. 

Although I'm not loosing as fast as others, I am steadily loosing. Need too push more proteins and lessen the carbs. I can do this, I know I can.

I want onederland so badly. Hopefully, definately by April. When I see my surgeon again.

New Year... New attitude

Long time, no post... But I'm 5 months out and eating better than before. Still not exercising, but that will change soon enough. Still have difficulty with the abdominal muscles. 

I'm down to 220lbs. I hope that by the next time I see my doc, I'll be in onederland. 

No more vomiting, which is a blessing. thank god. Had to adjust my vitamins, more iron, C and D3 plus trying too up the calcium.

This should even everything out by the next time I see him. In February, my PCP is doing a check on my iron. If it drops again, I'll get infusions. But, we'll see.

My clothes are down to an 18/20. Wow, haven't seen this size since college.

My mood is better also. Things are finally looking up for me with this surgery. 

Let's try this again...

It's been four months since my operation. Six months since I started loosing weight. I've lost 60lbs so far and when I look back.... It hasn't been easy. I'd gotten very sick and although I'm better, I still have difficulties. I wonder if I'll ever feel 100% healthy again. If I could get rid of these abdominal pains, it would be wonderful. Then I could swim, etc. I just wanna start living again.

Fourth Month

Doctor's visit

I had my three month check up and well, I'm doing great!!! My levels are rising and I'm healing well. I think it's gonna take a bit longer for me to heal completely, because of the leak. But I'm confident I'll feel better as time goes by. I still have the abdominal tightness from time to time. Yesterday was pretty bad. One woman wrote me, hers lasted 8 months.

I tried some Farina this morning, just to have something different. It was so good. the one teaspoon full I could keep down. I still bring food back that disagrees with me. Oh well, delicate stomach.

I've lost 36% of my EWL (estimated weightloss). I'm down 46 pounds since surgery and have 91lbs to go. Not bad... : )

Right now I'm batteling depression. Gotta watch my Vit. D levels and just wait out this seasonal depression I get at the end of the year. Sigh...

Some loose faster

Being a revision, i never expected too loose weight fast. I've lost about 50lbs or so. Which gives me 90 more too loose. I don't know how long this will take. I'm a bit impatient. seeing people with higher weightloss than I have, makes me wonder if this all will come off. Time will tell. When you've failed one wls, you get iffy about yourself. that's where i am now.

it's been a while

But i'm still here!! OMG did i go thru it with the TPN and the antibiotics I.V. I'm so glad it's all behind me now. I'm eating solids, although i have to take small bites and chew, chew, chew. I'm almost 3 months out and I've lost about 50lbs. yeah! I have more energy and am able to take my vitamins. Something i had problems with in the beginning.

I feel positive about many things and even ventured out to a concert. something i would have never done before WLS.

I'll try too keep this blog more up to date in the future.

I'm alive

i ended up with a leak and am on TPN and antibiotics. I.V. city. I don't know how long I'll be this way, but it could have been worse and I thank god I'm here. My belly is still sore, so much healing to do. 

I've lost weight. But i'm more concerned about being healthy.

Well

Surgery is Monday... And I'm pretty cool about the whole thing. The liquid diet has been HELL !!! If it wasn't for the weakness and the nausea, I could have handled it, but everyone is effected differently. 

Sunday is all clear liquids. What the hell am I suppose to drink? Imagination, here I come. I wanted a hot dog so bad today, I nearly ate one. but figured it wouldn't be out of my system in time for surgery. so I ate a pickle. ran right thru me and cut my appetite. I am so glad I will never have to do this again. Amen.

No more revisions. This is the last hurrah. Finally, it's gonna be done and done right. praise god. So say a little prayer for me and wish me luck. The next time I write, I'll be POST-OP !!!

liquid diet

Day one: So far, so good. The shakes are filling. I found a 0 calorie 4C tea mix to drink made with Splenda so I can have something with flavor. There's also regular teas and water. I'll be ok. i have 9 more days 'til surgery. Monday I have to go to pre-testing. nothing after 9am, it's a 2:00pm appt. 

Talked to the surgeon. I'm gonna have my appendix removed along with a liver biopsy in addition to the surgery. I'm telling you, this is gonna be something. I have to call friday after 4pm to find out when to be there on Monday.

Well folks. It's the final countdown.

Still trying to figure out vitamins

Calcium Citrate... 8 pills a day... wow... we can only absorb 500mg at a time, so I'm stuck. Need to get some Vit. A, some tender Iron and D3 and E and protein powder. Ugh. so much in such a short amount of time. But I'll do it. Some may come after surgery, but it will come.

Time is creeping. I see the doc on Thursday, which is good. It gives me something to do. 

Time is getting close

And I'm totally overwhelmed. Stress is something that's not good for me either. I'm feeling unsure and don't know if it's depression or what? I need a vacation from all this, I really do. 

I have 20 days 'til surgery and I can feel the urgency. I see the surgeon on the 31st, that's next week. That should be interesting enough. This thursday I see my primary doctor for my B12 shot, i also get to see if I've lost anymore weight.

So tired now, I just want to be done with it and on with my new life. Feeling better and looking better. And diabetes so far away from me. 

waiting

i hate waiting. need new things to keep myself busy. three weeks, four weeks, five weeks. HOW MUCH LONGER?? UGGH. I don''t know. Everyone says it will go by fast. I sure hope so. Right now, it's creeping. 

I'm so occupied by the pain from the scar tissue, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes, it's just too much. Lower back pain. nerve pain. site pain. Darvocet helps but you have to overlap it. to stay pain free. and i don't wanna do that. cause the pain only lasts for about 2 wks. and i wanna know when it goes away. 

I guess when it stops waking me up at night.

All of a sudden

I'm scared. what if i die. what if i get leaks? what if there are complications? So many what if's. I don't know what to think anymore. Now that it's definate, it's more than a dream or an idea. It's too real. Do I really want this?? Yes. And no. Who really wants an operation. I'm gonna take a bath and relax.

Surgery

My surgery date is AUGUST 11th !!!! I have to see the doctor on the 31st of July and then it's a week's wait and then SURGERY. OMG! Time will fly !