Well

Surgery is Monday... And I'm pretty cool about the whole thing. The liquid diet has been HELL !!! If it wasn't for the weakness and the nausea, I could have handled it, but everyone is effected differently. 

Sunday is all clear liquids. What the hell am I suppose to drink? Imagination, here I come. I wanted a hot dog so bad today, I nearly ate one. but figured it wouldn't be out of my system in time for surgery. so I ate a pickle. ran right thru me and cut my appetite. I am so glad I will never have to do this again. Amen.

No more revisions. This is the last hurrah. Finally, it's gonna be done and done right. praise god. So say a little prayer for me and wish me luck. The next time I write, I'll be POST-OP !!!

liquid diet

Day one: So far, so good. The shakes are filling. I found a 0 calorie 4C tea mix to drink made with Splenda so I can have something with flavor. There's also regular teas and water. I'll be ok. i have 9 more days 'til surgery. Monday I have to go to pre-testing. nothing after 9am, it's a 2:00pm appt. 

Talked to the surgeon. I'm gonna have my appendix removed along with a liver biopsy in addition to the surgery. I'm telling you, this is gonna be something. I have to call friday after 4pm to find out when to be there on Monday.

Well folks. It's the final countdown.

Still trying to figure out vitamins

Calcium Citrate... 8 pills a day... wow... we can only absorb 500mg at a time, so I'm stuck. Need to get some Vit. A, some tender Iron and D3 and E and protein powder. Ugh. so much in such a short amount of time. But I'll do it. Some may come after surgery, but it will come.

Time is creeping. I see the doc on Thursday, which is good. It gives me something to do. 

Time is getting close

And I'm totally overwhelmed. Stress is something that's not good for me either. I'm feeling unsure and don't know if it's depression or what? I need a vacation from all this, I really do. 

I have 20 days 'til surgery and I can feel the urgency. I see the surgeon on the 31st, that's next week. That should be interesting enough. This thursday I see my primary doctor for my B12 shot, i also get to see if I've lost anymore weight.

So tired now, I just want to be done with it and on with my new life. Feeling better and looking better. And diabetes so far away from me. 

waiting

i hate waiting. need new things to keep myself busy. three weeks, four weeks, five weeks. HOW MUCH LONGER?? UGGH. I don''t know. Everyone says it will go by fast. I sure hope so. Right now, it's creeping. 

I'm so occupied by the pain from the scar tissue, I don't know what to do with myself. Sometimes, it's just too much. Lower back pain. nerve pain. site pain. Darvocet helps but you have to overlap it. to stay pain free. and i don't wanna do that. cause the pain only lasts for about 2 wks. and i wanna know when it goes away. 

I guess when it stops waking me up at night.

All of a sudden

I'm scared. what if i die. what if i get leaks? what if there are complications? So many what if's. I don't know what to think anymore. Now that it's definate, it's more than a dream or an idea. It's too real. Do I really want this?? Yes. And no. Who really wants an operation. I'm gonna take a bath and relax.

Surgery

My surgery date is AUGUST 11th !!!! I have to see the doctor on the 31st of July and then it's a week's wait and then SURGERY. OMG! Time will fly !