Pre-Op Blues

This is the before shot. 286lbs in this shot. I'm 277 lbs now and finishing up my testing for my DS. I only have two more tests to go thru, Pulmonary and Nutritionist. Trouble is, I have to wait a whole week before I can go to those two appointments.

I think I'm gonna go crazy this month. Hell, this week. All this waiting and worrying. I'm anxious and nervous and excited and scared. I wanna get things moving. Start life again. Or just make life a little better than the hermit life I'm living. 

Money is always and issue. And I find myself always waiting for it to come in for me. It's never there when I need it. I'm doing too much future thinking. I know that... Gotta chill with that.

Anyways, the Duodenal Switch is my WLS of choice. I've already had a RNY and a revision. I have gained back around 40lbs of the 140 I had lost. At one time I had shot up too 350lbs and that was after surgery. From the beginning I was 412lbs. My lowest weight was 236lbs. I've been yo-yo ing up and down between the 300's and 270's for about a few years now. Time to stop the madness.

My pouch is still the size of a golf ball, it's just that something went wrong. My doctor says the surgery just wasn't aggressive enough for me. With the SMO (Super Morbidly Obese), you need something with more malabsorption. Like the DS, which is one of the reasons for my choice. 

The other reasons are my eating habits, they vary from grazer to every 2 to 3 hours. If I'm eating high protein, high fat and low carb. I'm doing the right thing via DS. And I can live that way. I have no problems with the supplements, I already take pills for life. Being Bipolar and having depression. I'm stable now and wish to stay that way, luckily the meds I'm on are absorbed well. (Knock on wood). 

Lots of thoughts, lots to say for a first post. Gonna end it now.